Best Jokes

Recently a "Husband Shopping Center" opened in Dallas, where women could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out with five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place, never to return.

A couple of girlfriends went to the place to find men. On the first floor the door had a sign saying, "These men have jobs and love kids."

The women read the sign and said, "Well, that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?" so up they went.

The second floor said, "These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good-looking."

"Hmmm," said the girls. "But I wonder what's further up?"

The third floor: "These men have high-paying jobs, are extremely good-looking, love kids and help with the housework."

"Wow!" said the women. "Very tempting, BUT there's more further up!" and up they went.

Fourth floor: "These men have high-paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good-looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak."

"Oh, mercy! But just think what must be awaiting us further on!" So up to the fifth floor they went.

The sign on that floor said, "This floor is empty and exists only to prove that women are impossible to please."

"Look! There's Linda Rondstadt!"

"Where? Where is she?"

"Right there! Here she comes, running full speed, right at you!"

"I still don't see her."

"You idiot! She just Blue Bayou!"

A man was driving down a country road and he was passed by what seemed to be a chicken that had three legs. The man sped up and followed the chicken, who turned down a long driveway leading to an old farm house. The man pulled up next to the house and out came a farmer, his wife, and their son.

The man said, "Did you see that, a three legged chicken!"

The farmer replied, "Oh yes, we once had a three legged chicken hatch so we bred it because all of us like to have a chicken leg at dinner and this solves the problem."

The man scratched his head and asked, "So how does it taste?"

The farmer replied, "Don't know, we ain't caught one yet."

A man walked into a game and toy store looking for a challenging board puzzle so he asked the clerk for just such a puzzle. The clerk replied, "Well sir, it depends on what you consider to be challenging?"

The man replied, "What do you mean it depends on me, I didn't make the puzzle so how am I supposed to know if it's challenging? Don't you know your products young man?"

The clerk replied, "Well sir, it tells you on the box how complex the puzzle is. Lets see here, oh yes, this one should be perfect. Right here on the front of the box it says it takes 3-4 ages to complete."