Best Jokes

"What's the worst part about eating your vegetables?"

Putting them back in their wheelchairs when you're all done.

I went to my local cafe today for lunch and apologized to the waitress for bringing my pet goat.

She said it's OK today but it won't be allowed in future.

She asked me what I would like for lunch, I said "steak with fries and the Kid Special."

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again; it was probably worth it.

Two guys are trying to get in a quick eighteen holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it's supposed to go.

The first guy says, "Why don't you go over and ask if we can play through?" The second guy gets about halfway there, turns and comes back. The first guy says, "What's wrong?"

He says, "One of them is my wife, and the other is my mistress."

The first guy says, "That could be a problem. I'll go over." He gets about halfway there and he turns and comes back, too.

The second guy says, "What's wrong?"

The first guy says, "Small world!"