Best Jokes

A wealthy ninety year old tycoon is meeting with is financial advisor. The advisor is very excited and tells the old man. “ I just found out about an investment I can make for you which will double your money in just five years!”

“Five years? Are you kidding?” exclaims the old man. “At my age, I don’t even buy green bananas!”

"If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country."

Waiter: And how did you find your steak, sir?
Customer: Well, I just pushed aside a bean and there it was!

A couple of pigeons made a date to meet on the ledge outside the tenth floor of a skyscraper. The female was there on time, but the male arrived an hour late.

“Where were you? I was worried sick.”

“It was such nice day, I decided to walk.”