Best Jokes

In a class room exam, John was peeping into the answer sheet of his neighbor.

The teacher shouted, “No cheating John!”

John replied, “I am not cheating. I am copying. There is a difference!”

I phoned a local restaurant to ask if it was on the north or south side of the Main Street.

The person on the other end answered, “That depends on which direction you’re coming from.”

My husband, a computer-systems trouble-shooter, rode with me in my new car one afternoon. He had been working on a customer’s computer all morning and was still tense from the session.

When I stopped for a traffic light, I made sure to leave a safe distance from the stop line to keep oncoming drivers from hitting the car.

I couldn’t help but laugh when my husband impatiently waved at me to move the car forward while saying, "Scroll up, honey."

There are women whose thoughtful husbands buy them flowers for no reason. And then there’s me. One day I couldn’t stand it any longer. "Why don’t you ever bring me flowers?" I asked.

"What’s the point?" my husband said. "They die after about a week."

"So could you," I shot back, "but I still like having you around."