It was my friend’s first camping trip with her husband, and they were lost. He tried all the usual tactics to determine direction—moss on the trees (there was none), direction of the sun (it was overcast), and so on. Just as she began to panic, he spotted a cabin in the distance.
"This way," he said as he led her back to their camp.
"How did you do that?" my friend asked.
"Simple. In this part of the country, the satellite dishes point south."
I saw a driver texting and driving...
It made me so mad I threw my beer at him.
In my Sunday school class the focus was marriage or divorce, "The rapidly increasing divorce rate," remarked one member of the group, "indicates that America is indeed becoming the land of the free."
"Yes," replied the prosaic friend, "but the continued marriage rate suggests that America is still the home of the brave."
A teenage boy and his grandfather go fishing one day. While fishing, the old man starts talking about how times have changed. The young man picks up on this and starts talking about the various problems and diseases going around.
The teen says, "Grandpa, they didn't have a whole lot of problems with all these diseases when you were young did they?"
Grandpa replies, "Nope."
"Well, what did you guys use for safe sex?"
"A wedding ring."