Best Jokes

$9.00 won 5 votes

Dad rarely dresses up, so when he left the bedroom decked out in a suit and tie, he wanted to commemorate the moment.

Handing me his camera, he asked, “Mind taking a selfie of me?”

5 votes

CATEGORY Family Jokes
posted by "Mary" |
$10.00 won 5 votes

On a Saturday afternoon when football fever was running high in South Bend, Indiana, a Notre Dame student was brought into the hospital where I was on duty as a nurse.

He had acute appendicitis, and as I prepared him for surgery I asked if he wasn’t terribly disappointed to miss the big game.

"Oh, I won’t miss it," he said. "Doc is giving me a spinal anesthetic so I can listen to it during the operation!"

5 votes

CATEGORY Sport Jokes
posted by "srg" |
5 votes

Apparently this was an actual radio conversation:

#1: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."

#2: "Recommend that you change YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."

#1: "This is the captain of a U.S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

#2: "No, I say again, divert YOUR course."

#1: "This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise, we are a large warship of the U.S. navy. Divert your course NOW!"

#2: "This is a lighthouse. Your call?"

5 votes

CATEGORY Military Jokes
posted by "HENNE" |
$15.00 won 5 votes

It never fails...

Cashiers are always checking me out.

5 votes

CATEGORY Puns
posted by "shopin55" |