Best Jokes
Favorite this joke After a round of golf two guys, one a newlywed, were at the 19th hole talking about the recent marriage.
First golfer: "You say you are your wife's third husband?"
Newlywed: "No, I am her fourth husband."
First golfer: "Heavens man, you are not a husband, you are a habit."
Two dogs pass a parking meter...
One says to the other, "How do you like that, a pay toilet!"
A man and his wife were walking by a lovely looking restaurant when his wife excitingly said, "What a gorgeous smell coming from this restaurant!"
Being kindhearted he agreed with her and thought, "What the heck, I'll treat her!"
And so they walked by the restaurant again!
"Hello! Is this Gordon's Pizza?"
"No sir, it's Google's Pizza."
"Did I dial the wrong number?
"No sir, Google bought the pizza store."
"Oh, alright then. I’d like to place an order please."
"Okay sir, do you want the usual?"
"The usual? You know what my usual is?"
"According to the caller ID, the last 15 times you’ve ordered a 12-slice with double-cheese, sausage, and thick crust."
"Okay, that’s what I want this time too."
"May I suggest that this time you order an 8-slice with ricotta, arugula, and tomato instead?"
"No, I hate vegetables."
"But your cholesterol is not good."
"How do you know?"
"Through the subscribers guide. We have the results of your blood tests for the last 7 years."
"You know what, I'm sick of Google, Facebook, Twitter, and everyone else having all my information! I'm going to an island without internet, where there’s no cellphone line, and no one to spy on me!"
"I understand sir. But you may want to renew your passport... it expired 5 weeks ago."
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