Best Jokes

My mother was away all weekend at a business conference. During a break, she decided to call home, collect.

My six-year-old brother picked up the phone and heard a stranger’s voice say, "We have a Marcia on the line. Will you accept the charges?"

Frantic, he dropped the receiver and came charging outside screaming, "Dad! They’ve got Mom! And they want money!"

To get my cousin to write to her even once, my aunt resorted to sending him a check with this note: “Do not cash until you write me a thank you.”

A few weeks later, the check had cleared, yet no message had arrived. So she called him. “I told you not to cash the check until you’d written to thank me,” she complained.

“I didn’t cash the check,” he said. “I deposited it.”

My techie husband and I were walking in the high desert when he stopped to photograph one stunning vista after another.

Overcome by the sheer beauty, he paid it his ultimate compliment: "Wow... everywhere I look, I see a screen saver!"

Who is the coolest doctor in the hospital?

The hip consultant.