Best Jokes

I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't solve. She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine.

Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my co-workers for help; they offered no new ideas.

After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly,

"Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this yellow construction paper?"

A farmer was milking his cow. He was just starting to get a good rhythm going when a bug flew into the barn and started circling his head.

Suddenly, the bug flew into the cow's ear. The farmer didn't think much about it until the bug squirted out into his bucket.

It went in one ear and out the udder.

Teacher: "Okay class let's start by sharing our dreams. What's yours David?"

David: "My dream is to earn $20,000 a month like my dad."

Teacher: "Wow! Your dad earns that much?"

David: "No ma'am, that's also my dad's dream."

"When is it bad luck to see a black cat?"

"When you're a mouse???"