Best Jokes

I told my cat that I'm going to teach him to speak English.

He looked at me and said, "Me, How?"

Following a heavy-metal rock concert, one punk rocker stopped at the front desk of the hotel and asked if she had any messages.
The desk clerk handed her an unsigned note, and she asked for a description of the person who had left it.

"That's easy," replied the clerk. "He wore tight orange-leather pants, high-heeled black boots and a T-shirt with strategically cut holes. I remember a row of colored safety pins through the outside edge of one ear, and he wore purple eyeshadow. And his hair was orange and spiked."

"Oh, man," she said, obviously disappointed, "that could be anybody."

Husband says to his wife, "See you honey, I am off to play Hit and Cuss."

"Hit and Cuss? What's that?" she asked.

He answered, "Well, some people call it golf."