Best Jokes

5 votes

As I grew a beard my wife said, "That beard looks ugly."

I replied, "I'm growing a beard to keep the girls away."

She laughed, "There aren't any girls around."

"There," I quipped, "it's working already."

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Jack Strausser" |
5 votes

What's E.T. short for?

So he can fit in the spaceship.

5 votes

CATEGORY Scifi Jokes
posted by "detour00" |
$10.00 won 5 votes

I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.”

So he went out and bought a present for my mother.

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "chill" |
$5.00 won 5 votes

Wife's Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting strange.

We went to a nice restaurant for dinner. I thought he was upset by the fact that I was a bit late, but he said nothing about it. I asked him what was wrong; He said, 'Nothing.' I asked him if it was something I had done. He said he wasn't upset, that it had nothing to do with me, and not to worry about it.

On the way home, I told him that I loved him. He smiled slightly, and kept driving. I can't explain his behavior I don't know why he didn't say, 'I love you, too.'

When we got home, I felt as if I had lost him completely, and again he said nothing. He continued to seem distant and absent.

Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 15 minutes later, he came to bed. He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm sure his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.

Husband's Diary: Boat wouldn't start, can't figure it out!!

5 votes

CATEGORY Marriage Jokes
posted by "Leogal" |