When the new activities director for the rec center walked in, all us retirees quickly took notice. She was 20-something and gorgeous. My buddy whispered, “She makes me wish I was 30 years older.”
“Don’t you mean 30 years younger?” I asked.
“No. If I were 30 years younger, I’d still never have a chance with a woman like that. If I were 30 years older, it wouldn’t bother me so much.”
One day YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge...
It'll be called YouTwitFace.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs your doorbell!
My wife said to me, "How on earth are we going to use 9% less gas this winter?"
"You can stop burning my dinner for a start," I replied.