Why did the banana go to the Doctor?
Because he wasn't peeling well.
I'm an atheist 11 months out of the year, but in December...
I'm eggnogstic.
When a man steals your wife...
There is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
Carl: I heard a new joke the other day. I wonder if I told it to you?
Lenny: Is it funny?
Carl: Yes.
Lenny: Then you didn’t.