An atom loses an electron…
It says, “Man, I really gotta keep an ion them!”
One of my first assignments as a trainee in an auto-body shop was a car needing a new fender and some door repairs.
I spent hours doing a perfect job, but when the owner came to pick it up, he wasn't pleased.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
Pointing to the side of the car, he complained about the paint not matching, uneven gaps between panels, and a host of other problems. He demanded an explanation.
"The repairs were to the other side," I noted.
Bob was in his usual place, sitting at the table, reading the news. He came across an article about a beautiful actress who was about to marry a man who was known primarily for his bad behavior and lack of good manners.
He turned to his wife with a look of bewilderment on his face. "I'll never understand why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replies, "Why, thank you, dear!"
How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but they have to do it while you're eating dinner.