What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can't tuna fish!
Just before Easter, I remarked to my husband that with the children grown and away from home, this was the first year that we hadn’t dyed eggs and had an Easter-egg hunt.
“That’s all right, honey,” he said. “We can just hide each other’s vitamin pills.”
They say you can't teach an old dog new tricks! I only have one thing to say about that nonsense!
I completely....completely...er...ah...just a minute...wait I have it now. Old dogs never miss a trick and don't you forget it!
Three young boys stand around talking about how fast their dads are.
First boy said my dad is so fast he can turn the light off and still get in bed before the light goes out.
Second boy goes my dad is so fast he can turn the hose off run to the end still get a full glass of water.
Third boy says my dad is so fast, he has a government job he gets off of work at 5 and he's home by 3.