Best Jokes

Husband: What happened honey?

Wife: I have severe neck pain.

Husband: I'm going out to shop. Do you need anything for your neck?

Wife: Yeah. One necklace!!

I don't pray to God... I send him a kneemail.

A young boy performed a magic trick and then afterwards someone went up to him and asked, "How did you do that?"

The boy replied, "Very well, thank you. I did it very well."

One Sunday morning, the priest saw little Davey staring up at the large plaque that hung in the church's foyer. The plaque was covered with names and small American flags were mounted on either side of it.

"Father Donovan," the boy asked, "what is this?

"Well, son, it's a memorial to all the young men and women who died in the service," the priest explained. They stood together quietly, staring at the memorial plaque.

Little Davey softly asked, "Which service? The 9:00 or the 10:30?"