Best Jokes

Two guys go into a pub. There is a swing band playing the old song "Yes, we have no bananas".

Guy 1: I love this song!

Guy 2: Yes. I think it's written by Mozart.

Guy 1: Of course it's not. They didn't make swing music in Mozart's time.

Guy 2: Yes they did!

Guy 1: You're stupid! They didn't even have bananas back then.

Guy 2: I know, that's the name of the song!

A world famous movie star is sitting in a hotel lobby, planning his motivational speech to a group of businessmen, when a man walks up to him.

"Excuse me, sir, I don't want to bother you, but my name is Steve, and I'm here with an extremely important client tonight. We're going to see your speech, and it would be a great help to me if, when we walk by, you could impress him by saying, 'Hello, Steve'."

The movie star readily agrees, and fifteen minutes later, the man walks by, deep in conversation with his client.

The star comes up and says, "Hello, Steve."

Steve replies, "Not now! I'm in a meeting," and keeps walking.

Did you hear the joke about the roof?

Ah forget it, it's over your head!

A flea jumped into a restaurant, nibbled on a pizza and jumped out again.

He picked himself up from the dirt, dusted himself down and said, "OK, who moved my dog?"