Best Jokes
Favorite this joke A cathedral is being worked on, and the workers have rigged a cage elevator inside so they can get material up and down. A characteristic of this cage elevator is that the doors (gate) must be closed manually for it to be called to another floor.
One day one of the workers, Peter by name, takes the elevator to the top floor, and it is subsequently needed on the first floor by the verger.
Unfortunately, Peter forgot and left the door open.
After the verger rings for the elevator a couple times, to no avail, he yells up for the worker to send the lift back down. Visitors to the cathedral were treated to this sight: The verger of the cathedral, head tipped up, yelling up to the heavens: "Peter! CLOSE THE GATES!!!"
Two women are talking in a park. The first one says, "See my new diamond ring? My husband bought it for me."
The second one answers, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"
The first one continues, "And see that shiny new car parked over there? My husband bought it for me."
The second one replies, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"
The first one reveals, "And you know that big white house at the top of the hill? My husband is gonna buy that for me."
The second one answers, "Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!"
The first one apologizes, "Oh, I'm sorry, here I am, going on and on about myself! Tell me, what have you been up to?"
The second one responds, "Well, I've just completed a course on politeness."
The first one asks, "A course on politeness? Why would you spend time on something like that?"
The second one answers, "Because I used to say, 'Who gives a damn?' but now I say, 'Oh, that's nice! That's really, really nice!'"
"I don't like insect puns."
"Really? Why not?"
"I don't know, they just bug me."
While perusing a curio shop in Texas, Harold's eye is drawn to the skull of a horse sitting on a high shelf. "Pardon me, but what's this?' he asks the shops keeper.
"That," the shop keeper replies. "Is the actual skull of Trigger, the horse belonging to legendary Wild West hero Roy Rogers."
"How much is it?" Harold asks.
"This little gem is $3,000."
Harold hadn't wished to spend quite that much, so he asks the shop keeper if she had anything cheaper, upon which she reaches under the counter and takes out a smaller horse skull. "This is only $500."
"Well, that sounds like a good deal," Harold replies. "Whose skull is it?"
"It's Trigger's skull from when he was just a colt."
Free Daily Joke