Best Jokes

There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler. At every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door. After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot.

When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door. The motorist went up to him and said, "I don't mean to be nosey, but why do you keep banging on that door?"

To which the trucker replied, "Sorry, can't talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times."

A little boy got a cold at school one day. He came home sneezing and sniffling, and his mother watched him with a knowing eye. Later that day, he was playing with his older sister when his mother called him into the kitchen. "Son, I know you're not feeling very good," she began. "Tomorrow for breakfast, don't eat your normal sugary cereal. I'll allow you to have some LIFE cereal after you eat a bowl of oatmeal, though. See, it's right here on the shelf," she pointed.

"Now, afterwards, I want you to have your older sister make you some broth from that ground liver we have in the fridge." Seeing the face he made, she added, "and then you can have some of the leftover sweet tea."

After the little boy came out of the kitchen, his older sister curiously asked, "What did she want?"

He promptly replied, "She just gave me the rights to LIFE, liver tea, and proper tea!"

Four old men went into the pro shop after playing 18 holes of golf. The pro asked, "Did you guys have a good game today?"

The first old guy said, "Yes, I had three riders today."

The second old guy said, "I had the most riders ever. I had five."

The third old guy said, "I had 7 riders, the same as last time."

The last old man said, "I beat my old record. I had 12 riders today." '

After they went into the locker room, another golfer who had heard the old guys talking about their game went to the pro and said, "I have been playing golf for a long time and thought I knew all the terminology of the game, but what's a rider?"

The pro said, "A rider is when you hit the ball far enough to get in the golf cart and ride to it."

"Who dropped a wad of money with an elastic band around it?"

"I did!"

"Well, here's your elastic band."