David Hasselhoff walked into a bar and ordered a beer.
The bartender said: “It’s a pleasure to serve you Mr. Hasselhoff.”
“Just call me Hoff,” said the actor.
“Sure,” said the bartender. “No hassle.”
An out-of-towner in New York at the height of the tourist season decided to revisit an uptown restaurant he'd enjoyed on a previous trip to the city.
Finally catching the eye of an overworked waiter, he said, "You know, it's been over five years since I first came in here."
"You'll have to wait your turn, sir," replied the busy waiter. "I can only serve one table at a time.
Why did Shakespeare only write in ink?
Pencils confused him... "2B or not to 2B?"
A customer called his car-rental company and said he needed a tow. The driver named the highway where he was stranded, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving.
The representative asked for a more detailed description beyond "a blue four-door sedan".
After a pause, the driver replied, "Well, it's the one on fire."