The other day my wife started a conversation with a weird question...
"ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME?!?!"
Do you know why the banana put aloe vera on its sunburn?
Because it was peeling.
Knock, knock...
Who's there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs your doorbell!
I set aside a dollar every time a woman found me unattractive...
Now they are starting to find me attractive...