I put Jesus as my background picture and now my phone never dies.
Yup, He's my screen-savior.
A man and his wife cracked open their fortune cookies.
Hers read, “Be quiet for a little while.”
His read, “Speak while you have a chance."
Do I want a beer?
A) Yes
B) A
C) B
D) All of the above
Friend: "How old is your boyfriend?"
Me: "He's old, he has a Yahoo email address."