If someday we all go to prison for downloading music...
I hope they split us by music genre.
A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years. They had the following conversation:
Doctor: "Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water."
Woman: "Okay."
Doctor: "Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water."
Woman: "Okay."
Doctor: "Take the yellow pill after dinner with three glasses of water."
After giving these instructions to the woman, she asks, "Can you tell me what's wrong with me, doctor?"
Doctor: "Yeah. You don't drink enough water."
A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides. During one trip, the driver dropped his client at a mall before he filled up the tank.
The cat remained in the car, laying down on top of the limousine's back seat. The service station's attendant glanced at the unusual passenger.
Finally, he asked, "Sir, is that cat someone important?"
Two mountaineers reached a huge, deep fissure in a glacier.
"Careful here," says one of them. "My mountain guide fell down there last year."
"I bet you felt bad about that," says the other.
He quipped, "Not really, it was pretty old and missing a few pages."