Boy: "I will not use Google anymore!"
Girl: "Why not?"
Boy: "Because after meeting you, all my searching is done."
Father: "Son, what is this 'F' in your report card? Huh?"
Son: (thinking) "Well, 'F' means Fassed!"
Father: "Ah, okay. And here I thought it was for Ferfect!"
A patient sobs to his doctor, “I feel like a pair of curtains!”
Doctor replies, “Well pull yourself together man!”
At work, one co-worker says to another, "Excuse me, may I disturb you shortly?"
"Of course, what is it?"
"Nothing, I just wanted to disturb you."