I'm changing my name to "Everyday"...
Because that's what the people I owe money to call me.
A boy says to his friend, "Today my test results are out and my dad is at home. If I fail in one subject, text me saying ‘good morning to you’. If I fail in two, text me ‘Good morning to you and to your dad.’"
His friend agreed. Minutes later the boy gets a text from his friend. “Good morning to you and to your family and to your neighbors also!"
Wife: “Why don’t you tell your friend that the girl he is getting married to is not apt for him?”
Husband: “Leave it. I am not going to say anything.”
Wife: “Why not? After all, he is your friend!”
Husband: “He didn’t tell me anything when I was getting married.”
Interviewer: So what do you have planned for the future?
Me: Lunch
Interviewer: No, I mean long term.
Me: Oh... Dinner.