Latest Jokes

A woman brought her baby in to see the doctor, and he determined right away the baby had an earache. He wrote a prescription for ear drops. In the directions he wrote, "Put two drops in right ear every four hours" and he abbreviated 'right' as an R with a circle around it.

Several days passed, and the woman returned with her baby, complaining that the baby still had an earache, and his little behind was getting really greasy with all those drops of oil. The doctor looked at the bottle of ear drops and sure enough, the pharmacist had typed the following instructions on the label:

"Put two drops in R ear every four hours."

As the bus pulled away, a woman realized she had left her purse under the seat. Later she called the company and was relieved to find out the driver had found it. When she went to pick it up, several off-duty bus drivers greeted her.

One of the men handed over her handbag and a box. "We're required to inventory found wallets and purses," he explained. "I think you'll find everything here."

As she started to put her belongings back into the purse, the man continued, "I hope you don't mind if we watch. Even though we all tried, none of us could fit everything into your purse... and we'd like to see just HOW you do it."

"I read somewhere that they're going to launch some weasels up in a rocket."

"So where are they headed?"

"Otter space, of course!"

Two extraterrestrials had just graduated the space cadet program on their planet. Both were duty assigned to a tiny blue planet in the Milky Way Galaxy called planet Earth. One of the young alien cadets asked the other, "Have you heard of planet Earth?"

His friend answered by saying, "No. I never have. But considering that you and I were last in our class, I have a feeling this is going to be one crazy adventure!"