Latest Jokes

My grandpa recently told me that my generation was too reliant on technology.

"No, grandpa, your generation is too reliant on technology,'' I retorted as I unplugged him from life-support.

Living beyond your means takes twice as much money as it used to.

Mary hated the idea of surgery. So she was very upset when the doctor informed her that she needed a tonsillectomy. Mary after much deliberation, decided to go ahead and have the procedure.

While she and the nurse were filling out an admission form, she was so nervous she couldn't think straight or hardly speak. The nurse, being a compassionate sort, patted her hand and said, "Don't worry. This is a simple medical procedure, and a problem that can easily be fixed."

"I am sure you are right. I'm being silly," Mary said, "Please continue."

"Good," the nurse went on, "Now, do you have a living will?"

You Know You Are Out of College When:

- Your potted plants stay alive.
- Sleeping in a twin-sized bed seems absurd.
- You have to pay your own credit card bill.

- Mac & Cheese no longer counts as a well-balanced meal.
- "Extended childhood" only really pertains to your salary which is a little less than your allowance used to be.
- "Twenty-something" means over-qualified, under-paid and not married.

- Jeans, flannels and baseball caps aren't staples in your wardrobe.
- You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
- You stop confusing 401k plan with 10K run.

- You go to parties that police don't raid.
- You don't know what time Wendy's closes anymore.
- Your car insurance goes down.

- You refer to college students as kids.
- You feed your dog science diet instead of taco bell.
- Half your conversations with current college students start with, "When I was in college..."