Latest Jokes

As patrons were shopping at the mall around Christmas, Bill and Fred heard a commotion coming from the area where Santa greets the children. "What do you suppose is going on?" asked Bill.

A nearby shopper told them that the new Santa Clause, an eccentric old fellow, had attached dozens of clocks, watches, and other various timepieces onto his big wide belt, circling his whole body.

"Let's go see him," said Fred. "He sounds like a nut, but it's worth checking out."

"Naw, I'm not interested," replied Bill.

"Why don't you want to see Santa with a bunch of clocks tied around his midriff?"

"I'll tell you why. It's a waist of time!"

I am so Broke... when I stop at a street corner, the homeless give me money.

I am so Broke... my bank statement shows TWO decimals points on my current balance.

I am so Broke... a televangelist said that all of His children will prosper, except this guy and shows my picture.

I am so Broke... mathematicians can now show that if you divide any number by zero, it will equal what is in my bank account.

I am so Broke... I can't afford anything Free.

I am so Broke... even my IP address is 00.00.00.00

I am so Broke... I am proof that multiplying a negative and a negative WILL give you a negative again.

I am so Broke... when I use a calculator to get the value of Pi, all I get is .1

I wasn't planning on going for a run this morning, but those mall security guards came out of nowhere!

Wife: "No, I'm telling you, I'm right! He couldn't eat the Trix because he was an adult rabbit and Trix were only supposed to be for kids."

Husband: "Well, I always thought it was just because he was a rabbit and not a person."

[A period of silence -- the wife looks down at her food.]

Husband: "What's wrong?"

Wife: "I'm just really getting tired of you always being wrong."