Latest Jokes

My husband was trying to embarrass me at a party by carrying on about all the stuff women carry in their purses.

Instead of blushing I said, “You’re right. There IS too much stuff in my purse.” So, I removed his wallet, cigarettes, lighter, and car keys and handed them to him.

When he asked what he was supposed to do with them, I smile and said, “Get your own purse!”

Due to budget constraints, the Board of the Daily Planet advised Perry White that he had to let one of his star reporters go. He was really overwhelmed about the magnitude of the decision. "Who should go, Clark or Lois?"

He actually did some praying, which he hadn't done for a long time. He asked, "Please. Show me a sign." That afternoon he was doing some shopping at Walmart, and when he went to his car he suddenly saw the answer.

The next day he called Clark and Lois into the office and said, "I'm sorry, Lois, but you have to go." After Lois collected her things and left, Clark took Perry aside and asked, "Chief - how did you know which one of us should go?"

Perry said, "Well, that turned out to be easier than I thought. While I was parking at Walmart, I looked up and there was the sign: FIRE LANE."

So what if I can’t spell Armageddon?

It’s not the end of the world.