Latest Jokes

If you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.

Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat, and eat, and eat. I could deal with that too.

If you're a bear, you birth your children (who are the size of walnuts) while you are sleeping and wake to partially grown, cute, cuddly cubs. I could definitely deal with that.

If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.

If you're a bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.

Yup......I want to be a bear!

Why were two giraffes kicked out of the zoo?

They were caught necking.

All haunted houses are the same. I went to one the other night, and heard the standard screams, shrieks, scary sounds and gotchas.

Then I went to another one down the road and it was like "Deja BOO!" all over again.