Latest Jokes

Ever been told something, but you can't decide if it's a compliment or an insult?

Recently, when I greeted my coworker, she said, “You look so gorgeous, I didn’t recognize you!”

The beginner's guide to decoding work emails...

I have a question = I have 18 questions

I’ll look into it = I’ve already forgotten about it

I tried my best = I did the bare minimum

Happy to discuss further = Don’t ask me about this again

No worries = You really messed up this time

Take care = This is the last you’ll ever hear from me

Cheers = I have no respect for you or myself

One day at home the phone rings and Joe answers it. On the other end is a confused woman who asks, "Who is this?"

"This is Joe. With whom did you wish to speak with?"

After a pause the woman says, "Did you just say whom?"

"Yes, I did."

"Then you're definitely not my son!"

Two aliens landed their spacecraft in a creek next to a rural farm. They disembarked the saucer, getting themselves soaked from the muddy water.

The first person the aliens saw was a ten year old boy fishing close by. The aliens said, "We want to see your leader but we don't know what to expect?"

The boy replied, "Well, I suspect you'll get grounded for two weeks for tracking mud in the house."