Despite what some people think, since the world is arguably 75% water that is not carbonated,...
One could accurately say that it's technically flat.
I was teaching my Grade 1 class to tell time using a conventional analog clock. "We'll be learning about the hour hand and the minute hand," I explained.
One of the students interrupted and said, "I don't need to learn on that kind of clock. My dad bought me this digital watch, and right now it's ten minutes to 38."
A pastor assured his congregation he was their servant and that they should feel free to call him anytime they had a problem.
That night the pastor's phone rang at 3 a.m. On the other end was a dear elderly lady who said, "Pastor, I can't sleep."
"I'm so sorry to hear that," he comforted her. "But what can I do about it?" the pastor asked.
She sweetly replied, "Preach to me a while, pastor."
Every year I like to hide a dozen Easter Eggs in the house for the grand children.
This year my wife said "No Way" until I find the two unaccounted for eggs from last year.