Q. What do Eskimos get from sitting on ice?
A. Polaroids!
Q. What did the traffic light say to the other traffic light?
A. Don’t look now am changing!
An elderly lady was sitting in a restaurant crying silently with tears collecting in a bowl of soup. Noticing this, the waiter walked over to her and politely said,"Lady that soup don't need no more salt".
One day a couple visited a marriage counselor about their children. The wife says to the marriage counselor "the only reason we are married because neither of us want custody of the children"