What branch of the military accepts newborns?
The infantry.
I asked my wife what’s for dinner...
She calmly replied, “Reservations.”
During a Christmas exam, one of the questions was: What causes a depression?
One of the students wrote: "God knows! I don't. Merry Christmas!"
The exam paper came back with the prof's notation: "God gets 100. You get zero. Happy New Year."
I once dated a geologist, but the relationship was just too rocky.
I was crushed.