A scientist studying cat behavior was up for review seeking additional funding.
Board member: “If you can tell us how many cats it takes to turn on a light bulb we’ll extend your grant.
Scientist: “We’re getting close to finding out.”
Board member: “What have you found out pertaining to my question?”
Scientist: “So far we know it only takes one cat to turn a light off.”
Board member: “When a cat turns off a light is it intentional or incidental?”
Scientist: “We believe it’s intentional because they’re too agile to tip over your lamp by accident.”
The following breeds are now recognized by the AKC:
Collie + Lhasa Apso = Collapso, a dog that folds up easy for transporting
Spitz + Chow Chow = Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up alot
Pointer + Setter = Poinsetter, a traditional Christmas pet
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund = Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso = Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel = Irish Springer, a dog fresh and clean as a whistle
Newfoundland + Basset Hound = Newfound Asset Hound, a dog for financial advisors
Terrier + Bulldog = Terribull, a dog that makes awful mistakes
Bloodhound + Labrador = Blabador, not a popular dog with CIA agents
Malamute + Pointer = Moot Point, owned by... oh, well, it doesn't matter anyway
Collie + Malamute = Commute, a dog that travels to work
Deerhound + Terrier = Derriere, a dog that's true to the end
Teacher: “What’s your favorite wonder of the world?”
Little Johnny: “The Pyramid of Pizza.”
Teacher: “You mean the Pyramids of Giza, right?”
Little Johnny: “Nope, I mean the pyramid shaped building downtown that sells pizza.”
Little Johnny: ”That isn’t a wonder of the world Johnny.”
Little Johnny: “Apparently you haven’t tried their pizza yet.”
Two friends are talking over lunch in an outdoor patio.
"So what are you doing for summer vacation?" one asks.
The other one replies, " I want to go to Italy again, like last year."
The first asks, "Wow! You went to Italy last year?"
The other answers, "No, but I wanted to."