I saw my son eating chocolate even after I confiscated all his Halloween candy. I asked him where he got that from.
He said, "I always have a few Twix up my sleeve."
A scientist was working on an equation that would make ION propulsion viable but after several months he couldn’t make his theory work.
His neighbor a pastor at the local church took one look at the algorithm and solved in minutes.
The Scientist was astonished thinking it must be a miracle. The pastor said, “It was easy; after all they’re Parish-ION-ers.”
Why did the nurse always choose the red crayon?
Because she always has to draw blood.
I ordered a cell phone case from an online retailer, and they sent me a child size face mask.
So I put it on my phone and it hasn't caught a virus since!