When a new child visited our Sunday school, the teacher greeted him and asked his age. The little boy held up four fingers.
"Oh, you're four," said the teacher. "And when will you be 5?"
The child stared at her and after a few seconds replied, "When I hold up the other finger."
I lost my job at the circus as a human cannonball.
They found somebody they considered a higher caliber individual.
Counselor: “Mr. Johnson I’d like to request you no longer bring your pet fly to our sessions.”
Mr. Johnson: “But he’s my friend and we go everywhere together”.
Counselor: “Every time I make a suggestion you turn to your fly and then you tell me your fly doesn’t like that suggestion. You need to have an open mind Mr. Johnson, your fly is standoffish and closed to anything new. I don’t know how you can walk around in public with a friend that‘s so closed.”
Mr. Johnson: “My little friend really doesn’t like that suggestion. There’s no way I’m going to walk around in public with an open fly.”
Why did Sherlock Holmes get audited by the IRS?
He had too many deductions.