Latest Jokes

I recently went to my 30th class reunion from nursery school.

I didn't want to go because I've put on maybe 90 or 100 pounds since then.

A woman drove to a parking garage searching for an open space, but she found none.

Then she noticed a couple walking just ahead. She slowly pulled alongside them and rolled down her window. She called out hopefully, "Going out?"

"No," the man said, "we're just friends."

I asked the Lord to tell me, Why my house is such a mess
He asked if I'd been 'computering', And I had to answer 'yes.'

He told me to get off my butt, And tidy up the house.
And so I started cleaning up... The smudges off my mouse.

I wiped and shined the topside. That really did the trick...
I was just admiring my good work. I didn't mean to 'click.'

But click, I did, and oops - I found a real absorbing site
That I got SO way into it - I was into it all night.

So nothing's changed except my mouse. It's as shiny as the sun.
I guess my house will stay a mess... While I sit here on my bum.