Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day...
Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
Question: Why does a Queen carry a scepter?
Answer: Because everyone works 'cept her!
Walking can add minutes to your life!
This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.
A senior citizen was showing off a new car he had bought to his grandson.
"Let's go for a spin," he told the youngster.
The old man pulled out of his driveway and placed his fingers above the top of the steering wheel, controlling it only with his thumbs pressed against the lower edge of the wheel.
"That's weird," the grandpa said, "I still don't hear anything."
"What are you talking about?" the grandson asked.
"The car salesman said I could hear lots of different kinds of music if I used a thumb drive."