A physician had just finished up a colonoscopy.
Before the patient leaves, he asks the physician, "Could you write a note for my wife, saying that my head isn't really up there?"
A boy and his father go together for a boys’ day out at the zoo.
“Daddy, I don't like how that hyena is looking at me from behind that glass, it's quite scary!” says the boy.
“Shush, Jason, this is only the ticket office!”
Always keep several get well cards on the mantel...
If unexpected guests arrive, they'll think you've been sick and unable to clean.
Two young boys named Dexter and Billy were sitting on a river bank talking and fishing.
Dexter: "Presidents have defining moments. Some of their statements are remembered by history for all time. Franklin Roosevelt said, 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.' When people are impressed by a president's words they repeat it and in time many become iconic quotes."
Billy: "Come on man, your pulling my leg."