At the funeral of the richest man in town, a stranger saw a woman crying very loudly. The stranger said, “Are you a relative of the deceased?”
“No.”
“Then why are you crying?”
“That’s why!”
"Those are fighting words where I come from!"
"Well, then why don't you fight?!?!"
"Cause I ain't where I come from!"
A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' and 'illegal'?"
Only one hand shot up.
"Ok, answer, Joan," said the teacher.
"'Unlawful' is when you do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is an eagle that's sick."
A man was found guilty of overusing commas.
The judge warned him to expect a really long sentence.