My mother and I were walking through the mall when a man stopped us to ask if we would take part in a survey. One of the questions was; "Do you think there is too much sex in movies?"
"I don't know," replied my mother. "I'm usually too wrapped up in the film to notice what the rest of the audience is doing."
"Why is it that a judge has so little time left for himself?"
"I suppose it's because he is so busy."
"Wrong. It's because he hands out so much time to other people."
My husband calls me the bomb...
Not sure if it’s because I’m super attractive or because I might go off any minute!
A guy, desperate for a drink walks into a candy store. He looks around and after a while the storekeeper says, "Can I help you with anything?"
The guy replies, "Yeah, I really need a drink! Got any liquor?"
"Well, I have something here that could work for you," replies the storekeeper.
"What is it?"
"It's liquor-ish."