Latest Jokes

Donald: I’d like to tell you a joke about the measles, but I’d better not.

Mike: Why not?

Donald: You know how those things spread.

One afternoon there was a group of tourists on tour going through an ancient castle in Europe. They were accompanied by a tour guide.

The guide said that the majestic castle was over 700 years old. He added that nothing had been altered or touched in all those years.

One of the tourists blurted out, "Sounds like they have the same cheap landlord I have!"

An elderly couple were on a cruise and it was really stormy. They were standing on the back of the boat watching the moon, when a wave came up and washed the old woman overboard.

They searched for days and couldn't find her, so the captain sent the old man back to shore with the promise that he would notify him as soon as they found something. Three weeks went by and finally the old man got a fax from the boat. It read: "Sir, sorry to inform you that we found your wife at the bottom of the ocean. She had passed away. We hauled her up to the deck and attached to her backside was an oyster and in it was a pearl worth $50,000. Please advise."

The old man faxed back: "Send me the pearl and re-bait the trap."

You said everything would be back to normal after June!

Ju-Lyed!