I hate it when my wife says, "Are you listening to me?!"
Such a random way to start a conversation.
With so many sporting events being delayed or cancelled, one sports tv outlet decided to televise the World Origami Championship…
It’s on Paperview!
The mathematics professor noticed that one of his pupils was going from day-dreaming to sleep and back. He was oblivious and not following the instructions on the chalk board.
To recall his attention the professor said sharply: "Brown, Brown, board!"
Brown, startled looked up and replied, "Yes sir, very much."
My uncle, known for his heavy foot, was stopped by high patrol for driving 88 miles per hour in a 60 miles per hour zone.
Uncle: "Officer, was I driving too fast."
Officer: "No, I'm not giving you a speeding ticket. I'm ticketing you for flying too low without a pilot's license."