I've just turned down a job delivering for my local fruit and veg shop.
They offered to pay me in vegetables, but the celery was unacceptable.
Greg: Did you hear about the accident at the Army camp?
Mike: No, what happened?
Greg: A Jeep ran over a popcorn box and killed two kernels.
Self isolation is getting so bad I’m starting to crush on my roommate...
And we’ve been married for more than 20 years.
Police Chief: The thief got away, eh? Did you guard all the exits?
Deputy: Yes, we did. But he tricked us. He went out through an entrance.