Herman: Mother, can I change my name?
Mother: Why do you want to change your name?
Herman: Because Dad says that he’s going to spank me as sure as my name is Herman.
What did the time traveler do when he finished his meal and was still hungry?
He went back "four" seconds.
I trained my dog to fetch me beer...
It may not sound too impressive, but he gets them from the neighbors fridge!
On his way out of church, Frank stopped at the door to speak to the minister. "Would it be right," he asked, "for a person to profit from the mistakes of another?"
"Absolutely not!" replied the pastor.
"In that case," said the young man, "I wonder if you'd consider returning the hundred dollars I paid you to marry my wife and me last July?"