My girlfriend is fed up of my constant wordplay jokes.
I asked her, "What should I do to stop my addiction?"
She said, "Hey, whatever means necessary."
"No, no it doesn't," I said.
Woman Friend: "No wonder Edith won't look at you. It's your fault. You act like a fool, fawning and cringing before her. Its like you don't care to call your soul your own."
Mr. Wormley: "Don't women like that kind of thing?"
Woman Friend: "Well, not until after marriage."
A woman in my office recently divorced after years of marriage, had signed up for a refresher CPR course.
"Is it hard to learn?" someone asked.
"Not at all," my co-worker replied. "Basically you're asked to breathe life into a dummy. I don't expect to have any problem. I did that for 12 years."