How much does Santa pay to park his sleigh?
Nothing.
It’s on the house.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer?
Because she’s always running away from the ball.
Farmer: "I've arranged my garden so as not to be caught by droughts this summing."
Neighbor: "What did you do?"
Farmer: "I planted my potatoes and onions in alternate rows. The onions will make the potatoes eyes water and reduce the need for water."
The Sunday School teacher was asking why Little Johnny was late.
"I was going fishing but my father would not let me," replied Little Johnny.
"You are lucky to have a fine father like this. I am sure he explained to you why you should not go fishing on Sunday."
"Yes Ma'ma. He said there just was not enough bait for both of us to go."