As the family gathered for a big dinner together, the youngest son announced that he had just signed up at an army recruiter's office.

There were audible gasps around the table, then some laughter, as his older brothers shared their disbelief that he could handle this new situation. "Oh, come on, quit joking," snickered one. "You didn't really do that, did you?"

"You would never get through basic training," scoffed another.

The new recruit looked to his mother for help, but she was just gazing at him. When she finally spoke, she simply asked, "Do you really plan to make your own bed every morning?"

Blowing Your Buffer - Losing your train of thought.

Career-Limiting Move (CLM) - Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot.

Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking an electronic device to get it to work again.

Ohnosecond - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake.

Seagull Manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, poops all over everything, and then leaves.

Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the brass with clean hands.

Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404 Not Found" "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man."

My dear friend, a divorcee, never remarried, and her daughter wanted to know why.

"The men I know would bring too much heavy baggage to the marriage and I simply don't want to put up with it," she explained.

Taking her mother's hand in hers, my friend's daughter said sweetly, "I hate to break the news to you, Mom, but you're not exactly carry-on yourself."