Nostradamus made note that his prophesies came to him in bilateral form. He would first imagine the future in written word followed by visuals of the event some time after. Recently in France a secret chamber was discovered in the former residence of Nostradamus, proving his bilateral claim to be true.

Researchers found a waste paper basket with a single wad of paper in it which read:
There will be three beloved men who will come to power in the same century. These men will be called Chuck E Cheese, Ronald MacDonald and some guy named Jack.

Apparently after receiving the visuals, he decided to scrap this particular prophecy.

My wife ran away with my best friend. A year later both of them were at my front door ringing the bell. They rang the bell for an hour straight. Reluctantly I answered the door.

They said they wanted to apologize for the way things happened. Boy, was I relieved, I thought he was trying to bring her back.

I just did a computer rendition of what I'd look like fifty years from now.

Apparently fifty years from now I'll look like a hand full of dirt.

What would happen if Donald Trump and Hilary Clinton married each other?

For the first time in history, the White House would demand a very large security deposit.